I don't want thin, I NEED thin. My name is Katelyn and I'm sixteen from Ontario. I'm in grade 12. Some things about me? I want to do more then just exist. I am impatient, broken, incomplete and confused. I like photography, it's sometimes the only thing that keeps me sane haha.
All I can do is be me, whoever that is. -----------------------------------------------
I've always had issues with food really. Growing up I was bullied a lot about my weight. Two years ago when my boyfriend broke up with me he harassed me about being fat, disgusting, etc. That is what I think sparked my bulimia. Now here I am finally trying to get it off. Better late then never right? I'm trying to be healthier though.
checklist
height : 5'4"/5'5" ish.
shirt size : XXLXLL M S
jean size : 18161412 10 8 6 4
yes, new xanga haha. if you want a explainantion read post below.
www.xanga.com/tinysparrow
i shall be putting this on friends lock and obviously won't be accepting anyone.. too paranoid now haha. so don't bother commenting this one anymore. :) xoxo
MY FRIEND FOUND THIS SITE. i fucking left it on my computer, i'm stupid. i'm making a new one tonight.. ugh she didn't get to read through it though she just saw my side bar, the about me one. FUCK. so i guess i have to make a new one :( i really liked this name lol. whatever i'll figure it out.
WATCH IT :) much music at 5PM! so i'm not going to be on it.. but my friends on the cheerleading team are! derek, hope, alexis, and others :) it's for frosh week. they're doing some routine i think? the one we used for fair last year or are using it for this years fair not sure. but anywho! check it out maybe :) i'm not sure why we got picked out of all the other schools in the area.. it's weird. we also went to hawaii about 2 years ago to cheer in the ' pro-bowl :| i didn't even think we were that good lmao.
SORRY! i didn't update yesterday.. busybusybusy with tons of freaking homework already. today was great eating wise so far yesterday horrible. in gym yesterday we did the 12 minute run i almost died lol. and today the harvard step test, "up, up, down, down" on the bleachers for 5 minutes. absolutely horrid lmao. i did so much better this year though because i didn't take a break like last year! plus i ran 50m's in 12 seconds? not even sure if thats good haha.
INTAKE : 7:30am - plain original eggo waffle [90] 11:45am - turkey breast sandwich with lettuce [210], raspberry flavoured water [5] 3:30pm - apple [60] TOTAL = 365
OUTAKE : harvard step test = -200 50m run = -5? lmao TOTAL = 205
i've lost all motivation to lose weight.. and i'm not even sure why. i want this so bad it's crazy! i think a few more days of school though will get me back on track.. i just have to get into eating breakfast again and what not. skipping lunch though.. it isn't really needed. well not big sandwiches often anyways. maybe a few times a month.. the other times just fruit, salad, or chicken noodle soup. i'll just eat breakfast, an afterschool snack, supper and maybe a smaller snack after supper? like fruit or whatever.
so today in gym we started fitness training. i did 29 situps in a minute.. i am sooo out of shape. could only do 12 pushups, and then did other random things. tomorrow we do the harvard step test! oh jesus that'll be hell. "up, up, down, down" on the bleachers.. not looking forward to it. for 5 minutes? ugh hell.. then the 12 minute run around the gym.
INTAKE : 6:45am - whole wheat english muffin [130], strawberry jam [60], a few slices of watermelon [50] 11:50pm - strawberry fruit to go stick [50] 3:30pm - wildberry fruit to go stick [45] 5:30pm - broccoli, grilled onions [175], a cup of pork beans [150], chicken&parm lean cuisine [240] 6:45pm - grapes [120] TOTAL = 1,020
OUTAKE : walking to school = -100 gym class = -100 walking home from school = -100 = 300
not too bad i guess.. ate way too much for dinner! didn't need those grapes afterwards. dinner was good though :) relatively healthy i guess ... lol. tomorrow shall be better! plan = oatmeal for breakfast, fruit to go stick for lunch, supper a lean cuisine dinner, and then for after supper an apple?
so hey. haven't wrote in this for 2 weeks! haha. worst news ever. i did not lose, i gained.. 2lb's actually. so i am 168 :( i cried when i weighed in today. what a great way to start off senior year right! i am determined to be 160 by october 6th though (fair). i gained because i was never really eating breakfast i slept in until like 1-2 everyday and i just pigged out seriously when i woke up.. binged like mad. i think i'm pretty good now. these are my classes for first semester :
WOMENS FITNESS! HELL YEAH. parenting and family, blah. *switching third period* art.
so really, such an easy semester.. womens fitness is going to be perfect though. we go to the gym three times a week! that combined with when i use my exercise bike at night, and when i occasionally will bike around town or what not.. i will lose a lot of weight. i'm hoping by january i'll be 140? reasonable goal i think especially with womens fitness. there is this girl in my class who is honestly.. the tinest prettiest girl i think i've ever seen haha. she's so nice also, she's new. we were talking.. she must be like 95-100lb's. i don't know if she has an eating disorder or if shes naturally skinny but i'm jealous. thinspo for first period! yay! :) haha. tomorrow in fitness we're starting training.. we do BMI's first thing.. fuck my life i'm probably obese lol. but won't be for long :) then we're doing situps, wall sits, etc.
OH. and i got a haircut and i absolutely hate it. i look like cracked out jenny from gossip girl.. :( haha but change is good. I'M ALSO A 12 IN AMERICAN EAGLE JEANS! i was a 12 somewhere else but american eagle jeans fit smaller lol so that made me happy for back to school shopping. also going shopping again on the 18th so want to lose weight for that.
jesus i'm sorry this is so long i just have so much to talk about :P haha.
INTAKE TODAY : chinese food for lunch [600ish?] tim hortons coffee [68] homemade potato salad [270] = about 938
there was a BBQ at school for lunch but friends didn't want it.. i didn't have much chinese food either.. veggies, a little bit of rice, wonton soup and some watermelon couldn't of been too bad.. never know though lol. biking to tim hortons now with a friend though! i know.. tim hortons AGAIN? lol.
